


chocolate bars

by cherrychoke



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Character, No Plot/Plotless, Other, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrychoke/pseuds/cherrychoke
Summary: Junmyeon offers his partner chocolate bars to deal with dysphoria.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Park Chanyeol
Kudos: 23





	chocolate bars

Junmyeon tries to think if he ordered take out or not. He’s pretty sure he didn’t, and he’s proven right when he finds his partner in their extra large hoodie with tears in their eyes.

“Yeollie,” He pushes the door farther open to let them in. “Are you okay?”

“They bought girl clothes again,” Chanyeol grunts. “I can’t call them out so I just, came here instead.”

He doesn’t need any more information. He follows them into the living room, the TV is still on, and watches them sit on the edge of the couch. They play with the hem of their hoodie, breathing heavily through their nose as they stare at the TV. “I felt so dysphoric even looking at the bag, I just left. I said you needed help.”

“I do, actually,” Junmyeon smiles, but they don’t return it and he feels a little bad. Chanyeol’s always up for smiles and laughter. It must be really bad. “Do you want to talk? Or read a book?”

Chanyeol seems to consider it for a good minute, their eyes looking at everything in Junmyeon’s apartment, never meeting their boyfriend’s eyes. They’ve talked about their gender, body and gender dysphoria before, Junmyeon knows how bad it can get theoretically, but this is the first time his partner has ever made an effort to come to him. They handle it by themselves, they hate having people around them when they get dysphoric.

“I have chocolates in the fridge,” Junmyeon says. He gestures towards the kitchen. “Have you eaten yet? I think there’s enough for the both of us.”

They nod a little, pull their sleeves to cover their shaky hands. Any other day, that would’ve been the cutest thing Chanyeol would do, but it worries Junmyeon today. “Are you feeling cold?”

“Kind of,” They stand up, walk to him with a frown on their face. “It was cold outside.”

“Chocolates?” Junmyeon offers. That’s all he can do, really, he’s not used to dealing with dysphoria — personally or witness others feeling dysphoric. He has texted Chanyeol when they weren’t feeling okay in general, on days their dysphoria wasn’t as bad, but this is the first time they’re here for his help.

It makes them chuckle a little. “Yeah.”

He starts walking to the kitchen, he doesn’t expect them to follow him like a little duckling. He reaches out for their hand, holds it gently when they let him. They’re still shaking when he squeezes their hand.

“Do you want to play music using the new CD player?”

To be honest, he bought that CD player — which looks super cute and has a string for controls instead of buttons — only because his friends kept marvelling over how good it is. He’s yet to use it, and he knows his partner loves it a lot.

Chanyeol tugs his hand into their sleeve as well, making Junmyeon’s hand sweaty in the hoodie, but doesn’t reply.

They let his hand go when they’re in the kitchen. They immediately sit on the counter space, smiling ever so lightly as Junmyeon takes out two bars of chocolate.

“I’m feeling better already,” They chuckle. “I feel a little dumb now, but it when I saw those bags and saw the flower designs inside, I felt like I was going to die right there.”

Junmyeon hums, gives them the cold chocolate bar and stands between their long legs. He’s pretty sure it’s just best to listen to them talk about whatever comes in their head, and maybe ask them later about how he can be of help when they’re feeling this way. He’s lucky he had chocolates this time, but they might not always be in the mood for chocolates.

“I was ready to fuckin’ cry,” They say as they unwrap the bar, staring at it instead of making any kind of eye contact with their boyfriend. “It’s so weird, I’m wearing a bra and that doesn’t make me dysphoric, but even the thought of girl clothes makes me want to stop existing.”

“Can I,” Junmyeon breaks the chocolate first. “Can I hold you? Will that help?”

“A hug would be nice,” They smile, placing the wrapper beside them. They put the whole chocolate into their mouth with ease, pushing it to the side of their mouth. “I’m still weirdly cold.”

_ One thing I know about, _ Junmyeon thinks with a smile. He lets them take a couple of bites from the chocolate before asking. “Where do I put my arms?”

“Shoulders, please.” Chanyeol replies, they get off the counter and wrap their arms around his torso easily. Junmyeon is on his tippy-toe as he wraps his arms around their shoulders, pulling them close and resting his chin on his arm.

For a person who loves hugging, Chanyeol’s dysphoria seems to work the opposite of that bare minimum happiness. They sometimes feel terrible if they hold someone’s waist, while the other days putting their hands on someone’s shoulders makes them feel too large for their body. 

Junmyeon honestly doesn’t understand why, but he’s watched and read enough to know dysphoria doesn’t have a rigid form for a lot of people.

“You’re tiny,” Chanyeol chuckles, squeezing him in their arms. “Tiny Junmyeonnie.”

“I’m average height,” Junmyeon huffs. “I’ll have to start buying heeled boots if you keep this up, Yeollie.”

Chanyeol gasps in delight, pulling away to beam at him. “You’d look amazing in heeled boots.”

“I always look good, thank you very much.” Junmyeon preens. He cups their cheek, leans forward and pecks their nose. “You’ll have to help with the heeled boots.”

“I know a lot of places,” Chanyeol grins. They lean in and kiss Junmyeon’s lips. “You’ve got the best partner for gay boots, baby.”

They go into Junmyeon’s room to lay down under the sheets, talking about various kinds of gay fashion, anything that comes to Junmyeon’s or Chanyeol’s mind, really — to distract them. It works miraculously, obviously. Chanyeol ends up on Junmyeon’s couch once more, their head in Junmyeon’s lap as they argue about when the lesbian fashion started evolving.

They’re no longer shaking, there’s a huge smile on their smile as they talk, and they laugh ever so often. Junmyeon is glad he could help them.

“Are you feeling better?” Junmyeon asks once they stop laughing.

Chanyeol pauses, then nods. “I am. Thank you, Junmyeonnie~”

“I’m glad I could help,” Junmyeon flicks their nose for fun. “You’ll have to tell me what helps, though. I would’ve been useless if I didn’t have the chocolate in my fridge.”

“Sure,” Chanyeol pats his cheek, beaming at their boyfriend. “The key is mostly chocolate, so stock up on them more.”

**Author's Note:**

> i had a super intense dysphoria surge for a while so i wrote this to cope with it, and i figured i'd just post it here? also im genderfluid! i think. yay for more trans characters! i don't know what this is but i hope you enjoy it anyway~


End file.
